hash.

ming and kurt spinning in germany.
really have to take my hat off to these two.

<3

it looks like you wont be staying round.
given the time and your mood,
you look alot like her.

i dont remember you looking any better.
but then again, i dont remember you.

cant sleep VS dont really want to sleep.
fuck my life.





music to dance and cry to. haha.
"for the irony, id rather know."

when your life mostly revolves around the people who make you whole, you enjoy being surrounded by them.
sometimes you falter, sometimes you need to be alone.
but it is never an option to live without them.
so it breaks your heart when they figure out just how disposable you are, doesnt it?
doesnt it make you fall hard, face first into a lump of mud?
you feel clouded, uncertain of your selfworth, and the last shred of pride you thought you had seems to vanish with the people who leave.
people always leave.
you never believed that, you couldnt be one of those people who just sees friends on the weekend, who only talks to the people you love when you/they need something.
no, thats not how a friendship works. at least thats what you believe in.



"although it was shortlived, that time spent taking in every breath with the people you love, you enjoyed it.
and now that its lost, done for, there is an emptiness youre not sure how to fill.
irreplaceable they are, unlike you.
and you fret for your hurting heart, but say nothing, in fear of tearing your feathered friendships ever further apart."

This isn't torture.

Torture happens in small, dark rooms in countries with names you struggle to spell.

This is just mildly unpleasant.

This isn't heroism.

Heroism happens in churches that are also schools, performed by teachers with no names and no place to stay.

This is just a good deed for the day.

This isn't loss.

Loss happens on fields filled with poppies, in hospitals buzzing with flies, in distant deserts and late at night when there's no good reason for the phone to ring.

This is just longing.

This isn't important.

Important happens on bended knees and is breathed on last breaths with hands clutched tight, hearts tighter.

This is just a distraction.

youre always looking out for me.

"i also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong.
to measure yourself at least once."

- alexander supertramp ; Into The Wild.

i am weak today. my body feels blistered and my throat is sore.
i want to lie in a bed of clouds and stay there, untouched, till the time comes for me to get up and move on with my life.
i am tired. and i need a little comfort.

odd.

gotta love all-american rejects.
and.
he is so hot.

does anyone want to buy me this?
http://www.blackberry.com/ap/products/handhelds/blackberrycurve8900/
i will love you forever i promise.

i cant wait i cant wait i cant wait!
twentyninth october please hurry please.

i want to be free.

random pictures because im bored and semigrumpy.

remember my triangle house? yeah, this is going to be storey one.



and this is my second floor, my bedroom. the stairs lead up to my attic.
(way wild imagination i know but goodness, how awesome would this be?)


i dont think youve got the guts, i dont think youve got it in you.


i <3 trees.


oooh.




weird.

okay fine im done.
byebye.